Saturday, April 28, 2012

Gassy Avenger...

Ok, So we all know every one has gas. I am a firm believer of "Better out than in" and by far, I'm one of the gassiest people alive. Now don't get the impression that I go around ripping loud and rude fart sounds but, I don't hold it in. SORRY!!! I would rather not have the horrible stomach problems that follow.

There are ways to fart with out the world knowing it was you, and by far one of the best was to get out of claiming the smell is to have a child in diapers with you. (Ok you know at some point you have farted and blamed your kid) My two older kids put up with that for years until my youngest was born. Little did I know she would avenge her sisters honor.

Round 2:

The gas, is a trait that was passed down to my youngest daughter, Abby. Let me tell you from the moment she came into this world we called her the "gas queen". Not only was she gassy but, OMG the sounds that came out of that little body were disturbing.. She sounded like a grown man who ate a whole crave case from White Castles all to himself and followed it the a whole can of baked beans. No joke!!! There were so many times my husband would blame me for her farting..

One day, while walking thru Walmart, she was sleeping in her carrier. Now, not to toot my own horn my kids are very cute. People would stop as I passed them wanting to look at her and go on and on how angelic she was.. ( yea what ever this kid is the devil) So I made my way to the baby section looking for what I needed to get. Yes, you guessed it, baby gas drops. As I walked away from the cart to look for the product Miss Abby let one rip.. Frantically I looked all around to make sure no one was around. To my relief the aisle was empty..

So, I walked back over to her again and said. "I'm getting your drops, stop tooting so loud." then went back to looking over the sheves. As soon as I turned my back she did it again. Only this time it was about 10 times louder and she followed the massive sound with a very loud giggle..

I went back over to her, not even looking around and said something like,"dang girl". Of course this time there was one of the older ladies who had stopped me earlier in the store to pawn over her. In shock I gabbed the drops off the shelf and held them up and said, "thank god for gas drops!" The lady looked down and shook her head. As she walked passed me she mumbled "how could you blame your rude gas on such a sweet baby."

Well for one of the firsts times in my life, I was speechless...... I think the kids get the point on this one.


No comments:

Post a Comment