Friday, August 24, 2012

Birds, Bees, What?????

Sorry it has been so long!!! Life had finally caught up and it seemed I never had any time to just sit down and write!!! Hope you all welcome me back cause I have got some great stories to share!!!

There is a time and place to discuss the birds and the bees with your children. Some kids ask the questions sooner than others. Parents tread very lightly on this subject due to embarrassment, and each parent has different ways of giving their kids the info without going into too much details.
My dad, for example, got me a cartoon called Where Did I Come From. Who doesn't like to watch cartoon sperms swimming in an Olympic size pool to get to the egg waiting on the edge of the pool for the winner. Then they tango.. 
It took years, and an episode of Glee to get my oldest to talk about sex. ( I wouldn't let her watch the sex Ed episode until we spoke about it first).

Round  13

It was a Friday eve and my oldest and I were on our way back from visiting my mother in law in the hospital about 45 min away from where we live. We rarely get time away from her sisters so this was great bonding time.
About 10 min into the drive she asked:

Beth: so mom, when do u think I can watch that episode of glee?

Me: after we have The Talk.

Beth: well ok I'm ready...

Ok I have prepared myself for this moment and even with all the prep work those words scared the shit out of me. I instantly started to sweat, my blood pressure went up, and I turned beet red.

Beth: are you ok mom?

Me: of course!!! What to u want to know?

Beth: well I thought you would just talk about it and I would listen.

Ok never planed that? I thought it would be like a question and answer type of deal. 
Here I was actually giving my dad kudos for getting the stupid cartoon and putting it in the VCR and leaving the room for me to fend for myself. But NO! I'm a good mom and have a great relationship with my daughter so I was going to do this right..

So for 20 min I acutlly gave the same speech from the Glee episode that the gay guys dad gave him. ( no my child is not gay but I thought it was by far one of the best speeches ever on the topic). I used the material an made it my own. 

So after all that I thought I was done. Nope wrong again!!

Beth: ok so I know that you have had sex 3 times because you have 3 kids.

Me: yes, and little more than that.

Beth; right. So 3 kids, 3 husbands. How many times?

Me: I have no idea Beth.

Beth: how many different guys have you had sex with?

Jeeze!!! What the hell!!!!

Me: this is something that we need to talk about on your 21st birthday after we have had some drinks!!! By the way you can watch that Glee episode tonight.

Beth: cool

Then it was dropped! Oh lord I survived! Untill she watched Glee.

Beth: MOM!!!! You gave me the same speech from Glee???? 

Well at least I got 1 out of 3 done.....

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